Monday, May 31, 2010

Dont ever get swept away in a situation. Because you end up losing focus on what u need to attain to make ur life whole.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The moment we are completely honest and are at peace with the decisions we make. Is the only way we can really enjoy life.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Never be afraid of becoming who u r. Its the only way others will have the courage to be who are aswell

Friday, May 28, 2010

You can do one of two things, u can dream to live or live to dream, its ur choice, just make sure u have no regrets.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

No one is cool enough to walk on water, which means when u screw up dont trip. U just gave urself a reason to be better.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Journal Entry. Wiping Away Crusted realities

When you know what to you want to say yet dont know how to begin can turn out to be a stopper. Perhaps its getting a rhythm or getting caught up on the details that can make writing feel like its impossible, yet if you just start out with a word, then everything rolls together. So many things have happened. I moved up north, went on leave from my job and starting taking poetry in another level. I started hosting a weekly reading at gallerOne36 in westfield, Indiana, and I am getting paid for it.

Our first reading was intimate, yet really awesome. Nine people came, three read, we did it with no list, yet we had fun. People drove over 30 miles to come be apart of it. I took it as success. Now we have a feature, Maxwell Kessler from the east coast. Thanks to Corey Ewing, aka St. Peace. More people are coming more poets and spectators. And were doing it out side weather permitting of course. And were really fortunate to be doing it at a art gallery, I couldn't think of a better place to do a poetry reading. Plus were serve free wine and food.

On saturday I went to a fundraiser to help support the Indy slam team and help raise money for them to go the Knoxville, TN to compete. And honestly I had a blast, we did outside at the Indy hostel. The stage was really kool and it had only a few lights, yet the light always silhouetted the poets in a perfect way that it made the night and the poetry seem perfect. We raise quite a bit of money for them. And it got me thinking

Where I live now, is amazingly beautiful. And I had an idea, how about doing a fundraiser or a music festival here. Hell I have 5 acres, and a soccer field at my disposal. So I decided to put on a music, poetry festival fundraiser. We have Beth McAmis who is a fire dancer, Jeff Hahn doing stand up who by the way is one of the funniest people I have ever met, The Dwellers as well as a Reggea band playing and about 25 poets. Were charging 15 bones a head, but people can drink, bring food and alcohol, and camp if they want. And I have this feeling were going to get 300 to 500 people. All of the proceeds go to funding for the Delerium Projek. To help pay for the catering, the security, getting the tickets made for pay pal, the invites ect... I do have some of the expenses taken care of yet not all of them. So I am just hustling and thinking of ways I can do this. And honestly this feels brilliant, it really does.

Stephen Miller has now asked me to submit a bio for a show in Ashville as well. Everything that is happening is not overwhelming, but very exciting, yet it feels all right on time. I also recorded another song with my producer Andrew Gustin. True Make Believe Stories is the title of this piece. And I can't wait to hear feed back on it. I love it regardless of what people think, yet I am always wanting harsh critiques, I always take them as challenges, not rejections.

Bottom line I feel in on the right track. Im sure more obsticals will appear before me. I am certain of it infact. Perhaps tomorrow, or maybe in 10 years, but the more I go along, the more I realize this is what I am meant to do. I have to no questions asked. I feel fortunate to know what I am talented at, and more importantly I see a realistic way of getting my ideas out and maybe just maybe I can live off my craft. Pay my bills with it and as I have said many times live a simple life....


Yet in the mean time I have more work ahead of me, as usual. Meetings next week with the Madame Walker Theatre, getting the reading ready again for next friday, get the tickets bought so I can go to NY and meet Stephen Miller, and Bob Holman, and go on tour with Stephen as well. Get the entire line of the festival in July all summed up, and I have to get my website up next week. SO yeah I have more then 11teen things I need to complete. But hey its kool. Im busy, but Im doing what I love, and I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Im finally doing what I love to do, and Im starting to make a living at it.

So I guess all I can say is dont ever give up on who you are. Because if you dont, everything you want, need and dont see coming, comes your way. And that you deserve all you want, you just got to know it. Not believe it, or have faith. You just tell yourself out loud what you want. Be honest and all will happen..
History has shown us, those who are determined always succeed only because they never gave up on who they are.
We have our first feature this week. Maxwell kessler from the east coast. @ Galleryone36 in westfield. 136 Main street this friday from 7 to 9 only 5 Dollars.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

We always have options, so if we allow ourselves to just be and allow life to do what it does, better options always appear.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Walking with ur head down is useless, i mean how else r u going to c whats coming ur way
Walking with ur head down is useless, i mean how else r u going to c whats coming ur way

Sunday, May 23, 2010

We all have a right to a simple life, to wealth, to claim what is ours. Tell urself this and start loving ur life...

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Its always better to know what You dont want, cuz its the only way to figure out what we need...

Friday, May 21, 2010

What ever u do dont give up on who u r, when things seem upside down tell urself there is always away to find away.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

What ever ur talent is, u have an obligation to use it. U never who u will inspire...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

exbit c. journal entry, never give up on yourself

Well more has happened since my last posting. Learned a lot as well. Car got broken into, mini laptop, over 200 new unpublished pieces, the books for my first professional reviews on NotesOnFusion.com were all stolen. Plus my back passenger side window was shattered. But I did the only thing a person could do. The next day I immediately got on it. Ordered the pc, contacted Stephen Miller, and Eric Basso, and replaced the window. Which by the way was a little more expensive than I thought it would be. Thats what I get though for buying a foreign car. Oh well, now Im just waiting on the delivery of my new pc, and both books. So only time was lost, everything else was replaceable.

Things are constantly in motion, not one day so far has been with out something big happening. New opportunities keep appearing, and yet I find myself at a mental stand point. I do see what people mean when they say thinking gets in the way. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes thinking is nothing less than a delay reaction. So some people want me to move in with them. They say they just want to help, help me attain stability, jump start my career. And honestly this is the scariest thing for me, only because I really dont know how to allow. I dont know how to let others do for me, like I have done for others. Its a new condition for me, as it appears clear to me that there is no catch, with them. But still, I'm moving again. And I am sick and tired of moving. I have to ask myself is me moving again getting me one step closer or further from having stability. I feel like I have lived so many lives in the past 29 years that now all I want and seek is a simple life. Thats it. I am fortunate though as I know what I dont want, and I have understanding what a simple life means to me.

I also got meetings on the way with both Mrs Kelly from the Madame Walker Theatre and Sandy Noe from the Julian Center. So I am moving foward in a positive direction with the benefit. We have already made progress for the Julian Center, as we just got a handsome pledge. Donor and amount remain confidentail, though. Only because the benefit has not happened yet. Now I have to look for graphic designers for the invites as well as a printing company to make copies. And its going to be an adventure.

Only because I need two different sets. One set for the art auction, and the other set is actually tickets for Saturday's event. Also have to create a pin pal account so I can have a another route to sell tickets. Honestly this may be my fourth benefit but I have never had to do all of this. I am moving up to the next level, as I have for every other benefit I have organized. That is how I can tell I am on the right track. Each one gets more polished than the last. So with out a doubt this may be a more of a challenge for me, but it's only making me better at this. Perhaps I can do these benefits once or twice a year. And as soon as I have pre-production done, I can focus on the next thing. Fine tuning the event itself. Except for the four features on saturday's event. I will have to organize rehearsals for it. Wow! the more I think about it the more I realize I have a full plate still.

Haven't worked on the cd in a week in a half, nor the books thats fine with me. At first I did have problems with it, but then it dawned on me. I have other things at this second the have to completed in order for me to be able to move foward in the direction that I feel is the best route for me. I have over 100 sheets of the crazy paper that I am holding in the picture that is on my blog. I am making frames for them, writing a few lines of poetry on each piece, applying a specific adhesive so the paper will last and selling them online, for 20 dollars a piece, that alone will help me get the other finances. I will have the money to continue getting the books and cd made as well as I can get the transportation for both Tristan and Tara from Chicago to Indy and back. Then the books will be done and I know they will sell as well. I already have a one and fourty three requests for the books. The signs are to obvious for me I have to keep going, regardless.

I want to work with more artist. I feel fortunate to work with the artist I already am. But there are so many more as well. I feel so fortunate to work with Alkemi, Billy Tuggle, Tristan Silverman, Tara Hardy, Gabby Patterson, Nsaychable, Allen Imagery, Stephen Paul Miller, Linda Sands, Eric Basso. People I have said it before and Ill say it again. Look up these artist. They are tomorrows greats who are living today. But still after this benefit there are more like I said at the begining. Racheal Mckibbens, Mike McGee, Buddy Wakefield, Karen FinneyFrock, And you can be sure that after I have this benefit done, but before it has happened, that I am working on the next benefit. Actually I have a idea who we are going to support next time. But still its way too early to even whisper that one, only because a realistic time frame to have that one would be in about a year from now. Which is about eight months after Projek Delerium

Could be entering a new line of work as well. Yeah I am still working at the airport, but I have a few possible up and coming auditions to do comercial voice overs. Lately people have been commenting my voice, and they say I should be doing commericals. So I asked around and little did I realize that a friend of mine has a few friends how are in that line of business. Some work or own their own agencies and others she knows do this for aliving. This is something I am investigating. It can potentially open up new doors for me, and perhaps this could be away I can actually afford to be productive and focus more on writing. benefits, workshops. This kind of a job would do more than just pay well, its not nearly as demanding of my time as the airport is. But unfortunately I can't quit that job, not until something else comes across my path that is for sure.

So bottom line I cannot get carried away. I am still just me Gregg, wanna be unpublished poet who works at the airport. But people you know what one of the beauties of life is. It's that everything does change, and sometimes our thoughts change our future. This is me at this second, but I tell myself I am a published successful poet. I will have everything I want, even though I have to work my ass off right now, and I am learning the ropes. But still, regardless things constantly change and who I will be in the future is what I am working so hard for in the present. We all have to tell ourselves both, what we see in the present, so we dont get carried away . Yet we have to remind ourselves of who we want to be. Its the only way we are going to want to take action and make it happen. Yet I refuse to give up on myself. You can say I have a head the size of texas, but I wont ever give up on me. So everything I have encountered so far has only made me better, sharper, and more determined, As you should feel as well, when life happens to you and you feel over whelmed.
Dont worry about what u want to have, because u always get u need and most of the time its a lot better

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

When u were born, u cried yet the people rejoice, live the life u want to live that way when u die, the world my cry but u rejoice.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

If u are able to make ur lowest point your highest peak everytime life changes for you. Then you are definition of strength.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Success is only achieved after perseverance is applied

Monday, May 10, 2010

Exhibit D. madness of the mind

Ok here I am once again at the computer,. It seems that is all I am doing, if I am not working either job working on the benefit or the cd/book, the reviews of Fort Dad and Umbra on NotesOnFusion.com, or I am either blogging. And it just dawned on me.People I am couch surfing. I stay at my friends art studio, my editors house or if I work a double and a switch I usually stay in a hotel room. And I am not complaining at all, honestly I am working harder than ever. I am saving every penny and working my ass off. Yet I have no place to call my own. And I have to wonder, am I really doing what's right? I try to be a very logical person and not get swept away in the moment too much. And when I asked myself this question, I automatically said yes. But then I asked myself am I being responsible, that I still haven't answered. I am paying my bills, working two jobs. Taking care of the benefit, and the saturday's poetry features travel arrangments. But still, shouldn't I be worried about this?

All I want to accomplish is, inspire people to be better tomorrow than what I was yesterday. When I read Kerouac, Ginsberg, Morrison, Corso, Holman, Carr or listen to Pearl Jam, Tom Waits, Miles or Robert Johnson to name of the few artist that influence me. I really wonder and ask myself can I really inspire others in a similiar way to how they those who I mentioned have inspired me. Can I really make people feel something with my words? Am I a fool for thinking I will be able to provide for myself or better yet a family with my craft and not have to worry about keeping the lights on? I just want to write.

Like I said in a earlier blog, when I was creating a new poem for the cd, I felt this feeling of beauty the lead me to discover that I was right where I should be at the moment. I really love this, more than sex, more than love, more than anything. I want to write, and I want to make people feel something, make them realize they can find their own way. Nothing is impossible.
But the 64 thousand question is. What I have to say,is it really worth peoples time? Will they deam it important enough to read and digest? Will they appreciate my words,? Can they relate to them? And more importantly will people find and feel something personally inside themselves after they read what I have written? These questions I cannot answer. I can only put them out there and to see if and or how people respond.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Exhibit C. journal entry

Well the time is approaching, what exactly is around the corner I have no idea, but something is starting to brew in the wind. Stephen has been talking to me regularly about this idea he has called Indie Poetry Man. Its something that sounds very complicated, I cant reveal anything except its comparable to soft concrete and involves many other poets. And it looks like this mad man is going to New York in June. W'hat's going to happen, only time will tell, but perhaps blogging for the Critiphoria, which would be an amazing opportunity, Stephen has also mentioned about going to Ashville, to do some readings down there. What an amazing opportunity. I have only heard stories about how serious they take poetry in Ashville. It can make or break some one, kinda like the The Green Mill in Chicago or the Bowery in New York to name a few of the venues around the country that have such an impact on poetry and the scene poetry inhabits. But none the less adventures await in the near future and regardless of its outcome, stories,poems, prose's ect... will be hatch from these excursions that are heading this way.

Early today I went to my producers house after work and started working on a new piece for the cd. Its so amazing when you see whats in your mind become reality. And I mean down the smallest detail. But sometimes on a few pieces like the one we worked on today, really took me for a loop. I have to ask myself am I thinking too small regarding whats in my head. The reason why is because I can leave there, and he will constantly just work on a way to make the music bend to the words, and in a few days, I'll get a "yo" on my facebook page from Andrew, and I know he has something in mind.

So today when I went over after work. He was already playing the piano, just messing around on it. Then he began to play this melody and singing the words I wrote, and it was amazing. We ended up getting the structure for it down, and went over it four or five times, then we gave it a rest for the day. But in a few days this piece will be ready to be recorded, and I still have it in my head, its really catchy, yet really odd. They way the words and the music blends together is almost like an oxy-moron to me. Only because they are complete opposites of each other, yet the words makes the music all flow together and the music makes the words all roll together. I'm really feeling how powerful and beautiful it is when what your creating gets on such a roll, that it evolves naturally and becomes its own. Regardless I'm taking direction, hustling more than I ever had in my life on so many different projects, and I'm having the time of my life at it. All I can say is, it's a brilliant thing when you find what your meant to do for the rest of your life..
The way we think will create more miracles than any medical drug ever manufactured

Saturday, May 8, 2010

The moment we are completely honest with who we are, life becomes a lot more simple

Friday, May 7, 2010

No more last times as she's the last crime a i will ever commit.
Our only real goal is to be better tomorrow than what u were yesterday, its the only way we get better..

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Our true wealth is our talents, spend that like u wld a million and see if u dont everything u have ever wanted.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Updates..

Well its been a productive couple of days. On Monday I recieved Stephen Paul Miller's book Fort Dad. And actually am impressed with it. I especially thought how cool it was he got his son Noah Miller to do the illustration. And I'm excited as all get out to get my NotesOnFusion.com site up and running. And Fort Dad is gonna be my official blog review. And both Angela Summer's and Linda Sands have both graciously volunteered to to edit the review for me before it goes up on the web. Then after that I have Eric Basso's Umbra's for my second blog review.

I am also more excited now than ever about the city here and us poets, Jason Ammerman and Matthew D. Jackson were speaking at Central Middle School about poetry today. Thats proof, people are caring about poetry, about culture. Teaching a craft is a brilliant thing to do. And its proof to me that poetry is on the rise here. Even if they only inspire one person, thats one more poet. One more person why may actually do some good or maybe they reached 25. Regardless what a cool accomplishment.

Got a call by a fellow poet and frend Heidi -raw-Phillips Harris, a local benefit organizer here in Indianapolis who informed me she got the benefit an opera singer, except one thing. The singer is a 13 year old child, and I was on board the second I heard it. I couldn't think of a better way to open a night of art being sold for the women and children of Indinapolis at the Julian Center, then this. I feel that this benefit will do some real good for all here in the city. First and most importantly the women and children. It will also show the community that we artist support and respect them. By us selling our work to help raise money. In a city where sports dominates, we may actually have a chance to change that.

And don't get me wrong, I am not against the Colts, or the Pacer's. Its just were the ones creating something and giving back in away the sports cannot, and yet we get no appreciation. People we are the ones who matter. And it proves that when we artist sell our work to pay our bills, that art is real. It is not a ruse. Its just like a mechanic or a Lawyer getting paid to do what they do. Its expensive yes, but honestly its worth it. And when talking about money, actually we only need money to get the tools that are needed to get what we need done. Which is why I feel it is completely realistic to make aliving and pay your bills with your craft, what ever it maybe.


Been talking to Stephen Miller recently. About the book Fort Dad, as I said earlier and about a few other projects s well. He has spoken about a mini tour in North Carolina. And actually it's crazy to me to think about doing a tour with a professional poet. Yet we all get our start from somewhere, and each new level does require a new start. If you get my meaning. And if it would happen it would be a great way to sell the books as well as gain attention for the benefit. So if the adventure would happen. It may turn out to be a great and positive expierence that can only enhance, and open up more possibilities. But it does mean more responsibilities on my end. I have to be ahead of my bills and have extra money for it. I have to have the venues on lock down and I have no connections, but I have friends who do. So I'm sure its not impossible. ,

But for the moment nothing has happened, just a few phone calls, so there is no reason to get swept away. Now I have to concentrate on work, getting designs for the weekly poetry reading westfield, Indiana, that starts next friday, get a rental car for Tristan and Tara for when they drive down from Chicago, to Indianapolis, when they perform for the benefit. Find discounts and rates for the ticket to New York to talk to Stephen and Dominick about bloggin for the New Yorker, as well as get info and see about business donating their time to print the invites for the benefit in September. Plus I have to finish the book, that will ensure regardless everything else that is not paid for, will be done. And I have a feeling that people will buy these books. I dont need to say that again. Its just something I know, because this benefit will happen. No if's and or but's....

I guess the only advice I have is, keep hustling. In everything, at your job, in your outside job. Make sure you dont do what ever it is your doing at 30%. Make yourself give a 150%. It's exhausting yes, but its fun. And you feel so much better at the end of night about your day. Plus one day, and that day may take ten years or more, but that day will start to happen for you, and you wont even want to look back.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Exhibit b the Indy Scene is starting to make waves

I ve been hearing complaints and compliments about unity here in Indy, and this is jus t me remember that but all I see is success here. For I only see the community here getting tighter, The ones who love this are starting to break out in our own right

You know being a poet here in indy, is absolutely brilliant at the moment. It seems like so many people are starting to get careers in motion. Take the Reservoir DogWoods, Jason Ammerman, of Indianapolis, Matthew D, Jackson of Columbus, Indiana, Tony Brewer and Joseph Kershbaum of Bloomington. Four hard working poets, who have been around in this scene and helped built it to what this on the cusp of being. A mecca of Poetry,. Who are now starting their second tour as well as creating workshops and getting big names like Buddy Wakefield to perfrom at them. Also now on thursdaay we have both lazy daze at the Irvington and Urban Elements headed by writers bloc, on Fridays we have Earth house and Right On, then Sundays we have Mid –Town hosted by Allen Imagery that’s downtown as well. Its not exactly New York, Atlanta, Chi-town or Cali, but still were on our way. World be ready for Indy has some fearce poets armed with talent. Plus were getting features as well, it’s a great compliment to our community here. Plus on the second Wednesday, helmed by Erin Livingston. It’s a brilliant time to be here and ifyour , well Kiddies you should be. Currents are slowly changing and if u don’t believe me then watch from afar, and end up wishing you were apart of this, That’s how sure I am.

Today was kinda crazy after I got off of work, I recieved a call from Stephen Paul Miller who has many published books of poetry including Fort Dad which is going to my 1st blog review on NotesOnFusion.com. And there is a chance that this kid from Nap just may be blogger for the critiphoria. Nothing is set in stone but still. This could be an amazing opportunity. And regardless this is an expierence I cant pass down. But it got me thinking, if Im blogging for poets such as Eric Basso, Linda Sands, and Stephen, why not blog about us.

The local poets and musicians of Indpls. So I said screw it, I'm gonna do it. So besides bloggin about those writers and a few more. Im gonna blog about us, our new and upcoming events, books, cd's tours ect.. I mean its only advantageous for us to support each other its the only way we get any where worth while. Hey look at the beats, the fireside poets and ect... They were a community with-in themselves. And they ended up being remembered, studied, appreciated which lead to a timeless platform to be able to inspire others. Because like I said earlier in this blog, I feel a community forming, just like those before us who made it. So why not us.

And you know, people. If you dont realize that your thoughts create your reality. Then try this see if im lying, Look at your life, if all you see is shit, then perhaps if you just change your way of thought, then maybe they will disappear. Seriously, I don’t wanna say it’s a magic trick or anything you just end up over looking all those, You don’t see it, and slowly yet surely your life will change, success is only attained through never giving up, It sounds childish but it does happen. It may take six months or may two years, but screw it. Where we end up is alll that matters, plus it’s a fun ride, when it start to happens.. Im serious just don’t believe in yourself, know yourself. And see what happens when you start to be your true self..