Ok so its been a few weeks since Ive made any progress regarding the books, yea I started on the cd, but still I havent made any paper in weeks. I feel like im slipping, getting comfortable and everyone knows that when you get comfortable you start to lax on a few things. Perhaps Im being too hard on myself. I mean tickets, and rooms are bought. And the original draft of thThe lists are being put together, regaring the line up, Ive got a few places where spoken word readings and slams might book is finally done, but still. Making paper is crucial, its the core of this specific project. Plus except for the 30/30, I havent written anything at all. Hell I just decided on my six words for the Scratch quarter writers contest that Linda is running.
I just kinda feel like I am inbetween the channels for the second. Dont really know if that makes any sense at all, to people but still. I want something, but honestly I really dont know what that is. And when I say that Im talking for the moment. And I guess we all want that feeling that everyday something really big is happening. And when it happens its like a drug, a rush of adrenaline that can never be replaced. Yet we all know it cant happen every day. We have to take comfort in the slow days, the days that are meant to just take time enjoy life and smell the flowers.Maybe this is all in my head. I am the kinda person that gets swept away at times, even when its a dead period. I could be thinking this is it, im not being productive, ect.... But still I just dont wanna slip in any comfort at least for the moment, not until I reach a plat form that I can be able to pay my bills with my craft, then perhaps I can take just a few moments and relish the non busy time.
I guess Im just needing patients within myself. I just have been putting off my goals for so long, or half ass doing them, that now after I finally started to take action and make things happen for myself, that this is kind of an old feeling, and I dont wanna repeat my past mistakes. Infact I would rather make new ones to learn from, that way at the end of the day I learned something new. Its just its been 10 years.. And I dont wanna waist one more second. You ever feel that way?