Monday, March 29, 2010

Take One....

You know here I am 29 yrs old, and honestly I feel like I'm learning everything all over for the first time. Im learning to apply what I ever always known what I should do,. But in the past, I either wasn't focused, or just didn't beleive it was possible. So I guess you can say everything is right on time.

As here I am on the verge of putting on the a huge benefit here in Indianapolis. On September 10th and 11th. For the abused women and children at the Julian Center. I somehow got together some of the cities biggest artist of all mediums to be apart of it, including Alkemi, aka Mikeal Jordan(break thru painter who resides here in Indianapolis) . Were doing a black tie art auction on friday and on saturday we have live entertainment, community art work, and four national features Tara Hardy, Tristan Silverman, Daynomi Irregular Flow Thomas, and Billy Tuggle. At of all places the Madame Walker Theatre. Wow, do I feel a little out of my league.You bet.

All I am is a just a guy who works a medicro job at the airport, and constantly writes. Do I have funding yet. Nope. In fact most likely this will come out of my pocket. But I feel this has to be done. NO if's and's or but's. This is what I am, an ARTIST. And if I want it to flourish, I have to be good to her. That's just how it works.

To raise money, Im making books. Actually I'm currently making the paper, for the books. Writing the poetry in calligraphy, and scanning it on to the paper Ive made. 3000 pages, for 300 books. That's 30 pages a book, also recording a spoken word cd for the same book, so that an additional 300 cd's. With the extra paper im making, I'm planning on framing some of them in hand crafted frames for decoration. Bottom line I'm doing everything I can to make this happen. I want people to know that everything is possible. I mean a year ago my life was completely different.

I was engaged to a woman who had two kids, big three story house, big yard. The whole every day life. Yet It didn't feel right. I wasn't being me. Doing what I knew I should be doing. Them shortly after we split, lost job became homeless, blah blah blah. In other words times were rough. But one thing I did started to put things into motion. Little did I realize, perhaps it was because I was caught up in what was going on in my mind, but I was going to readings again, kiking it with artist, my peers. Going with Nsaychable and to 1st fridays, doing out of town readings. Yet certain things were dying. It was my past. As things continued to get harder, I still stayed persistant. And in the process I started writing better and better. I discovered in old words a new vocablary. Then bam went out of sight for about 17 days, went to jail. Came out, and immediately things changed. I was asking to do features. Which kept me going for gas and food until I landed a job and recieved my 1st paycheck. Three days later landed that. Shortly after that I met Alkemi and his son Raii. Father and son who are some of indy's best talent.

Alkemi is honestly great. His state of mind alone is what strength should be. I feel like a student sometimes. While his son Raii, is a calm methodical producer of beats. I look at Alkemi's paintings watching him paint and I wonder what did people feel like when they were watching Dali, cuz I'm that person, The lucky audience that watches time lines be documented, with his paintings. Yet it also keeps me productive. I should say makes me want to continue to be productive. It reminds me of what I want to accomplish.

And here I am people. 29th constantly broke hah, but im cool. Im putting on a huge art benefit for the Women and Children of the Julian Center, im published in the Critiphoria, talking to the Numa art council about hosting a festival. And going to Decatur Ga for my 1st writers convention.

I honestly have no idea how everything will happen.My cup is empty, but I know it will. Its not a belief. I will accomplish my goals. And I guess I want to show everyone that everything is possible. What ever u want, will happen. Our thoughts program our actions, and our actions create our past.

I mean do u trust what u have seen and know, or do u trust a belief and someone's word?

Next thing on the menu is how do I get publish, teach poetry, create work shop? This is my job, this is what I'm meant to do. But I cant do it alone. None of us can, we have to use our friends, and at the same time allow our friends to use us. We help each other its how we succeed. Its common sense.

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